I find these ages of 8 and 6 to be my favorite. We are in such a sweet spot. I don't know if it's me feeling more peace and joy in my own life or absorbing my little's lives. I find myself often worrying or anxious if day to day I am doing a good job of creating a life for the girls that they will remember and want to replicate. I cherish my childhood with my family and always aim to recreate the same feelings for my girls. Of course we are all different, but I know exactly what I hope to create for my girls. I want them to feel confident, included, loved, special and secure. I want them to trust their instincts and know their opinions. I want they to be fiercely confident in what makes them happy and strive to have that feeling daily.
I had a great conversation recently with my dad about the girls. I love that we can talk so openly about what his feelings were raising me and my brother with my mom and his male perspective. My dad and I are incredibly alike and I value his masculine opinion greatly. It helps me see things clearly from a different angle. We are both very self competitive and strive for more all the time. We aren't perfectionists but see things very fast moving. Always quickly moving towards the bigger goal. That is a really hard perspective to carry when raising kids. I teeter on the line of " to much and not enough" never sure what's the right thing. I want my girls to feel independent from me but still feel me close if they need me.
My dad gave me the best advice and interestingly enough it was things I had been mulling over for some time. He said " make sure they feel included in your decisions". So simple. This I hope makes the girls feel that their opinion is good , valued and taken seriously by me. I had been adopting this practice but didn't know I was doing it. For example, I would be getting dressed for a date with Erik and ask the girls to pick out my shoes that they thought would work with the outfit I had on. They would scamper into the closet and come out with options. Some super "wow" and some really great! I would try them all on and we would discuss which was better and why. Then we would move onto earrings, lipstick and coat. This seems frivolous but made my heart so happy. They knew mommy wanted to look nice for my date with daddy and wanted to help.
I remember the silliest things about my mom getting ready for a special event and I want my girls to remember their own special memories about me.